Round One, Day Four

I finally went to an OBGYN. The current state of my system has led to trying medication, and round one started on Sunday. Just trying to figure out when to start the cycle was crazy enough, so hopefully I won't have crazy mood swings or the dizziness the pharmacy so helpfully warned me about with the biggest label I've ever seen.

So. The OBGYN's office. Scariest building EVER. Like, at first glance, I was like, I am so not coming back here. It really looks like the rundown hospital setting for a horror movie, until you realize it's just an old building desperately in need of a facelift. And maybe a tummy tuck and new hairdo to complete the makeover. The nice thing is they have several other locations, and I can go to any of them because they sync up the records electronically. The staff was pretty nice, aside from the phlebotamist playing political talk radio. That just bugs me, for the same reason that religious radio stations in public spaces make me uncomfortable. But I digress. Mostly I wanted to go there because they have a collaborative practice with midwives AND physicians and treat you as a whole system instead of just a reproductive system attached to a brain.

The doctor gets my history and decides to have my full hormones checked out and an ultrasound ordered just to confirm the extent of my PCOS and rule out anything else keeping me from getting pregnant. The results? Let's just say the technician was like, "Uh, you have a history of PCOS, right?" as though to say, holy crap, those are some serious cysts. And yes, they are serious, and now I have them on both ovaries instead of just one. I also apparently have the beginnings of adenomyosis (similar to endometriosis but not exactly related). Luckily, my testosterone levels aren't off the charts like they used to be, not that I could tell going by the insane amount of extra hair I have to manage on a daily basis. I'm certainly getting my money's worth out of my tweezers.

After getting the results, I have the options laid out for me. Try to let the cycles happen on their own, go back onto birth control to get cycles evened out, or try drugs. Guess which one I chose. The current plan is a couple cycles consisting of Provera (to get my uterus prepared), Clomid (to induce ovulation), and trying every other day (our favorite part). Then checking hormone levels mid-cycle, crossing our fingers, and hoping for two lines on the stick. The Provera may or may not give me anything like a period, and the Clomid can cause wicked mood swings. Also, did I mention twins? And how I'd been having dreams about having twins, and sometimes my dreams turn out to be true in really bizarre, unexpected ways? *Cue the Twilight Zone music, I'll get back to you if I have a deja vu moment*

ALSO. Did I mention my in-laws are coming to visit? In the middle of my cycle? For a week? See above about trying to time things so as to avoid spontaneous combustion. (In all honesty, I love my husband's family. His parents supported me when I was in college, especially when my own family was unable or unwilling to do the same. But still, I don't even like to see my sister/best friend for more than a week or two at a time. Digressing again...) At least they're staying at a hotel instead of with us, and my husband is taking a week off to spend time with them, so I don't have to play hostess 24/7 or even for the 6 hours each weekday that I'm not sleeping or at work.

Thus far, the cycle is...uneventful, though not much else can be expected only four days in. Chances are I won't even have much of a period after the provera, since I sorta had one after coming back all relaxed from Hungary (OMG, that was a LIFE CHANGING EXPERIENCE. and I understand myself and how I relate to my mom/sis even better now, for better or for worse). And I've decided to stop drinking, following a fab wine tasting this past weekend. It's better for my chances, and it became apparent that while nothing I was doing was problematic, my habits/mindsets were making me uncomfortable with myself at times. Technically, a couple glasses of wine this week or next wouldn't hurt a fertilized embryo, but it's not good for the part of me that has a family of alcoholics and is too prone to addiction.

Tomorrow: Clomid. Beware dizziness. Beware twins. Don't operate heavy machinery (no kidding, these are the warnings for my meds). Keep the sperm factory flushed and fresh but not overworked. (my wording, not the doc's. though it's not too far off...) And don't get too invested in this because it's more likely to not happen this cycle than to be successful. This is the stuff mood swings are made of.