Instructions - Apparently They Do Matter

Well, the last cycle was a bust, but luckily (I guess?) it's not so much that the medicine didn't work as that... I didn't take it correctly. How hard can it be, right? Except you have to understand there's a difference between P as Provera and P as period when your doc hands you an annotated diagram complete with lecture about when to have sex, when not to do anything, and when it's up to us. It's a bit like I was back in Upper Division Math Courses, thinking I basically understood the gist of the theorem, only to fail the midterm. Or trying to understand what the IKEA instructions without words and the befuddled-looking androgynous stick-person are really saying.

Overall, I'm pretty pleased with the situation. I didn't have any funky side effects, and I've even gotten back into a regular cycle - how cool is that? There were some really vivid dreams, and I guess the nausea might be a side effect, but really, a bit of a breeze. And who doesn't like being told "have lots of sex"? But I think the best thing has been having my cycle start up again, so I feel a lot more optimistic about my body's ability to do this successfully, with the added benefit of not having to take drugs. And because of that (and my general stupidity), I'm not disappointed. Not a bit. Although the PMS that I haven't had to deal with in about a year is kinda sucky.

Since we knew I wasn't pregnant, we took the opportunity this past weekend to do winetasting at a nearish winery to celebrate my birthday. The wines really don't even compare to California, since the growing season is so utterly opposite. There were Chardonnays, and Cabs, but no Zins or Sauv Blancs, and everything tastes a bit different. But I am getting to explore new varietals, and experience softer, mellower wines. The official Virginia grape I'm not so fond of, but I do love the Vidal Blancs we get out here and Viogner is especially tasty when grown here. And thanks to Virginia's alcohol control laws, we got to have a small, rich lunch before we headed home. Oh Virginia, and your silly requirement to make a substantial portion of sales in food. I think California would just about die under laws like that.

We also went to historic Occoquan, which is a nice little town on the Occoquan river that reminds me a bit of downtown Petaluma. Smaller, but a similar feel, and lots of places to take my sister when she comes out this summer. [Side note - I'm so excited over that I could pee my pants!] Andy found a place we could get breakfast, which is surprisingly hard to do in this area. Not brunch, not a chain, not a bakery that sells breakfast pastries and has coffee. We had real, honest-to-goodness French toast and biscuits and gravy, and we didn't have to wait until 10am to eat. Harder to do around here than I would have expected. We also stopped in at their farmer's market and picked up some awesome looking summer squash (I think it was Zebra and Pattypan - aka, Striped and Flying Saucer), some tiny apricots, and the most delicious bun bread (slightly sweet and buttery). I believe some French toast is in my future. Specifically, for my birthday.

So now we start another cycle. I start the Clomid on Friday, just in time to spread it out over a 3-day weekend, so hopefully if anything does happen, I won't have to deal with it at work. I picked up an ovulation predictor kit, but I'm not really sure if this is the right time to use it. On the one hand, I have pretty clear instructions about when to time trying, and the packaging does say I should follow my doctor's orders if I'm on Clomid. On the other hand, the lab never actually completed my bloodwork to check that I did ovulate. As in, they lost it. And I don't know how much of a difference it will make to me, knowing whether part of the process worked or if I can let go early and not worry about testing because it didn't. I'm currently leaning towards not peeing on the stick every single morning, but I still have at least 3 days to decide. I guess we'll wait and see.

Just a Bit of Bitching and Moaning

I do believe I'm having fake preg symptoms. Because it's not already entirely sucky to have all the emotional upheaval of going through fertility treatment until you think to yourself, at least being nauseous every morning is a good sign, only to get a negative result again. I'm so freaking tired of taking tests with my hopes up and getting them back down again.

And there's probably some anxiety going on, evidenced by the crushing chest pains around/between my boobs. Which happen while I'm trying to sleep. Now that I think about it, I should probably have that checked out. Along with my non-functional reproductive system. And my random nausea. And losing my balance.

Even better with all this? Nausea that gets worse in humidity. Why on earth did I decide to go through clomid cycles at the start of summer in DC of all places?