Week 38 - Return of the TMI Happy Hour

Hi there! I bet you're just thrilled to be reading yet another post where I spew forth verbal diarrhea . I wanted to give everyone adequate notice for the squeamish and shy that today will be a lot of TMI, so don't say I didn't warn you. Let's get started, shall we?

So the biggest thing on my mind lately has been a certain tendency towards being Frisky, which makes me sound like a sex-crazed maniac. This is only partly true. There seem to be two things going on right now, not exactly mutually exclusive but they don't seem to work well together either. On the one hand, my body seems to be going "Get it now before you have to wait at least 6 weeks and make it work while sleep-deprived with leaky boobs!". That part is fine, I know how to handle that (obviously, or I wouldn't be in this...predicament). But on the other hand, I feel a certain amount of pressure to be Frisky to bring on labor. There's a certain amount of ironic symmetry in pushing to do this on a regular schedule after the routines we went through to get pregnant in the first place.

One of the things that couples complain about if they have trouble conceiving is that sex starts to feel like a chore instead of a fun and intimate expression of love. We never quite got there, but there were a couple times that a small glass of wine was needed to get things started, and right now I don't have that luxury available. I'm terrified that I'll start not looking forward to it, and then I'll be regretting not taking advantage of the opportunity when I was able to.

Ahem.

Enough about that. You know what else you probably never wanted to know about? The fascinating prospect of going to the bathroom! Most women have a fear of a tiny bit of, shall we say, involuntary bodily function during delivery. But your body does it's best to clear everything out of your system before you get anywhere near the pushing stage, generally the day before you go into labor. I have never been so excited by the idea of number two before, for the sole fact that it could mean the big day is imminent. Exciting stuff, I know. Also exciting is the slow break down of the mucus plug (which somehow hadn't come out yet despite dilating to 4cm), because it's so fun to have what looks like a shower snot rocket when you wipe. But it's a good thing, if more than a little strange feeling.

We met with the midwife yesterday and got some recommendations on DIY induction. Sex and acupressure topped the list (check, and trying it out). She also tried using some of the tricks of her trade, only to discover that I'm already so close to going into labor that she couldn't actually do any of them because my body was already there. In addition to being 4cm and 60% effaced, I'm also carrying fully engaged ("her head is basically at the gates of the luge") with bulging waters and my membranes have separated on their own. One good sneeze could be all it takes, though several rough coughs associated with the bronchitis I have had hasn't been enough to do it, so I guess I can take that option out of the running. Then again, how am I supposed to know the difference between peeing my pants and having my water break? I'm guessing they all feel the same when you have a sneezing fit, based on my previous experiences with the "spritz of joy".

But enough about me and everything else you never wanted to read about. The midwife estimated Brianna to be about 8 and a half pounds, pretty much on par with last week's ultrasound, so I'm guessing she's actually in the 8 and three-quarters range. We'll see though. Either way, she puts a lot of pressure on my pelvic bone, so I will be sooooooo happy to go into labor. I've been getting about 10 hours of sleep throughout the day because I'm so tired after carrying her around for the other 14, and that's still not enough time to ease the achiness. I'm just hoping for Brianna's sake that even if I go into labor by tomorrow morning that things take just long enough that she's not born on April Fool's Day, because that's just a sucky day to have a birthday. So right now we're shooting for April 2nd just after midnight. If you see a post about going into labor, it's probably not a joke, unless I'm feeling particularly punchy. Can't discount that possibility either.