Week 11 - How I Get Through All Of This

This was going to be a purely positive, upbeat post about all the things that have been great about being pregnant. But then I puked twice today, so my sucky-meter is back on high. But I'll still regale you with the good stuff.

Little One is the size of a lime, about a third of an ounce. With vital organs that just need to mature over the next 6 months. Kind of incredible to think of how much growing a baby does, and how much of it comes out of me. Our next ultrasound is in 10 days, and we'll be able to see Little One moving! The one thing I'm kind of worried about is that I might need to get a flu shot when I go in for my next pre-natal visit. The shot isn't so scary, just the idea of probably getting even lightly sick because of it.

I started the day having had the weirdest dream, which began with watching Nathan Fillion filming an action-y movie in a mall and we kept getting in the shots and pissing off the director, and then transitioned to a creepy unhappy birth factory in a swimming pool with drowing babies, but then I was rescuing a baby and it cuddled up to me and I was breastfeeding it. Thanks to that, I woke up feeling pretty good, despite the weirder/disturbing parts of the dream. Then I puked while brushing my teeth. And since the usual advice is to brush your teeth to freshen up afterwards, it totally threw me for a loop. All I could do was rinse my mouth. Like 10 times.

I'm getting this funny feeling of calm every once in a while. Usually when my stomach is finally settled and I'm not tired and everything just feels right. I'm starting to look forward to preparing for birth, even though I know it's going to be one of the hardest things I've ever gone through (because, duh, it's called labor for a reason). It's probably because I'm such a planner (you should see me plan Thanksgiving with my sister, we approach it with all the fervor of top secret military ops), so I feel like making arrangements and having contingency plans for all the possibilities can give me a sense of control. In theory, at least.

One of my favorite things about pregnancy? It has totally re-affirmed just how wonderful my husband is. He has been so patient with me, through all the mood swings, and the wacky responses to food, and my rather considerable worries about my body and whether I'm still attractive. He's so affectionate, in so many ways, at exactly the right times. Feeling his hand gently rest of my growing belly and seeing his smile fills me with so much joy. He is a font of whatever support I need, whether or not it's convenient for him. Backrubs, reassurances, another bowl of cereal while he's in the middle of cooking. I know I can lean on him, figuratively and literally. So honey, in case I don't say it enough with all my griping lately, I love you and I'm so happy to go through this with you at my side.