Week 22 - Funky Dreams and Big Kicks

My computer has been on the fritz for the last week since a Trojan horse decided to make my life hell. I thought it was taken care of, but it looks like I get to reformat everything to get it back to a crappiness free existence. And by me, I mean Andy gets to do it. He had some unexpected dental work done this week and we both seemed to be affected by a stomach bug that had been making the rounds at work, so this post is a bit late but there's tons of fun stuff going on.

So, for the past several nights I've been having weird dreams. First, it was a hospital dream with all kinds of what-the-hell-was-that-about details (don't worry, I'll get to that in a moment). The next night I don't remember exactly what the context was, but there was a specific dollar amount that was really important that kept popping up. It was so important that even after waking up, I remembered the exact amount. Why I would need to have $28,245.10 is beyond me (not hospital bills, since our insurance puts a cap on out of pocket expenses, and not a reasonable down payment for a house, since that gets you a broken down shed out here), though if someone wants to give it to me, I will happily take it and start Little One's college fund. The night after that, Andy and I were touring a, um, ahem, adult film studio and critiqueing what we saw (this is what happens when you feel Frisky during Weird Dreams Week). Last night, it was a serial killer. Not a killer after me or anyone I cared about, but he was out there. He was a relatively friendly serial killer, seeing as he didn't want to kill me, but it's never any fun to have murderers running around.

But that hospital dream? One of those epic dreams that seems to go on and on and changes course several times and the details that might have some basis in reality don't really stick. At first we went to the hospital because of an infection I was having or something, which of course means I should be sent up to Labor & Delivery. But this hospital was a zoo. I mean that in a figurative way, but it was really crowded and not exactly clean, which is, well, BAD for a hospital. There were people running around not knowing where to go, and L&D switched to being just a general hospital but with too many people for the LDR (labor, delivery, recovery) rooms they had.

So we're waiting around for a room, and I'm deliriously trying to crawl around the cafeteria (which is in the same area as in-take) when my tray full of broccoli and jello went flying and I turned into a blubbering mess on the floor. At that same moment, my in-laws show up and expect Andy to give them all of his attention, because it's TOTALLY normal for someone to fly across the country when your expectant daughter-in-law goes to the hospital. For an infection. But I was back in L&D at this point, so of course I must be having my baby. (I should mention here that I love my in-laws; they're incredibly generous and understanding about how quickly Andy made me his top priority, so it's really weird that they would be so demanding in my dream).

Not actually being in labor, we leave the hospital (as in, just walk out like we hadn't registered with the in-take nurses, which I'm sure would be fun for them) and go...somewhere. Suddenly I don't have an enormous belly, but I'm still pregnant, and we're walking around deserted construction sites that have giant gaping holes and rotting floors because that's a perfectly safe thing to do. Until a floor gives out from under me and I have to cling to something to keep from falling down 10 feet, but Andy and his dad (who apparently were 10 feet tall) pick me up and carry me off to safety like a bag of potatoes. All that stress actually does put me into labor, so we go back to the hospital.

Remember when I said there were too many people at the hospital? Yeah, they decide to put me in a room which apparently had previously been occupied by a really wealthy woman and hadn't been fully cleared out yet. That, or all rooms come equipped with scary looking stuffed animals for all the newborns that aren't even aware of them and a professional caterer who makes food that would have been more appropriate for a cocktail party for everyone in the delivery room. The nurse keeps sneaking me canapes so I can eat something (seeing as I had a stellar meltdown in the cafeteria), and then they start prepping me for delivery and doing just about everything I've specifically requested to NOT have in my birth plan. I try to tell them "No, I'm only 26 weeks, I'm just here for an infection" and they just tell me to push, despite the fact that I haven't had any contractions, and in reality I was only 22 weeks. The dream kept going on and on with me telling them I was a different number of weeks every time, anywhere from 20 to 28 (apparently you can reverse your pregnancy in dreams). Then I actually started contractions and woke up. How's that for a doozy of a dream?

So yeah, I'm hoping that my dreams get a little less bizarre, or at least don't happen every night. Though it could be worse, I guess. For the past month, I've been waking up to pee between 1 and 3 every single night (like you do when your bladder is losing real estate in your pelvic cavity), which has been stopping most of my dreams. Chances are some of the dreams would have gotten weirder before I woke up. Other fun effects of pregnancy include itching all ove and a constant appetite. The itching is probably half having my skin stretch out and half from the weather, but it's still no fun. But the appetite probably means just one thing: growing baby.

I'm pretty sure Little One has just gone through a growth spurt, what with me being hungry not long after eating and the huge growth of my belly, seemingly overnight. My coat is just about to the point that I can't even button it (you can see the belly even when I have the coat on), so I'll be switching to my fancy-schmancy maternity peacoat tomorrow. I'm also pretty sure that my earliest maternity shirts will be too tight by New Year's. Her movements are getting a lot easier to feel, and a lot of her kicks are pretty strong. Friday morning I thought it might be enough for Andy to feel soon, and that evening he got to feel her for the first time, making several kicks that were actually kind of painful at times. He looked so happy to finally feel it though, and it really made our day. I will have you know though, (TMI alert) it's really distracting to feel her kicking during the previously mentioned Frisky time. Kind of like having the dog watching, but with less noise.

As of last Sunday, Little One was a full pound and about 8 inches long. Her senses are developing, and by now she can feel enough that she grabs her umbilical cord just for fun. She can open and shut her eyes and see enough that if we put a flashlight against my belly (which I'm not quite cruel enough to try...yet), she would turn away and push against me to get it away from her. Her fingernails are completely formed, and her brain is rapidly developing. Her skin is getting thicker and thicker, so she's looking less like a transparent alien and more like a real baby, or a doll as so many books put it. And in just over four months (hopefully not too much more), we'll finally get to meet her.